


Yet Another Queer College Chatfic

by ViridiHarmonia64



Series: Yet Another Queer College AU [1]
Category: RWBY
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Chatting & Messaging, Discord Based Chatting, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Occasional Sexual/Romantic comedy, Queer Character, Queer Families, Queer Themes, Social Media
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2019-11-05 04:53:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17912375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ViridiHarmonia64/pseuds/ViridiHarmonia64
Summary: As far as I know the first RWBY chatfic, and as far as I know not the first queer college au. Join these dumb teens being dumb teensWarning: massive amounts of romantic and sexual relationships happening at the same or different times between different people in a fustercluck of teens.





	1. DAY -7: TESTING THE WATERS

**Author's Note:**

> I promise nothing on update times but I promise these kids deserve to be dumb online, and so do I

**CocoChanel** added **GottaGoFast** , **WeissInc** , **NinjaNeko** , **YangingInThere** , **JeanLucPickArc** , **PyrrhaEffingNikos** , **SlothKing** , and **CastleQueen**

**CocoChanel**

This is a test chat for those who'll be in the Firsties building, I'm Coco, and I'll be your second-year RA, so if you have any questions feel free to ask.

**GottaGoFast**

And that's how you'd (in theory) build a gay gun

wait

wrong text server

shoot

**WeissInc**

Hold up, I'm curious

**YangingInThere**

Curious as in science or curious as in sexuality discovery?

**WeissInc**

Oh please I figured out I'm gay since Pyrrha Nikos’ combat debut.

**PyrrhaEffingNikos**

I'm...flattered?

**WeissInc**

Oh

oh no

this is the nightmare scenario

**NinjaNeko**

I can't believe I superdump the White Fang to attend this school and almost immediately get top notch weiss schnee blackmail material

**GottaGoFast**

Superdump?

**WeissInc**

So you're going to go back to them with this?

**NinjaNeko**

We just met so the answer to both questions is just

*superdump*

**WeissInc**

Surprisingly effective at answering my question

**NinjaNeko**

If there's anything so many books have taught me is that emphasis can be the difference between life and death

**YangingInThere**

THAT'S what you learn from books!?

**NinjaNeko**

Imagine if you had put emphasis in any word other than “that”

**YangingInThere**

...huh, fair point

**WeissInc**

Also, sorry again ms Nikos

**PyrrhaEffingNikos**

Please, Weiss, we're the same age and go to the same school.

You can call me Pyrrha.

**WeissInc**

Sorry, it's just, you're like, a celebrity

**PyrrhaEffingNikos**

So are you?

**WeissInc**

It's different; you're famous for stuff you've done, I'm famous because of what my family's done.

**PyrrhaEffingNikos**

...you're right. Sorry. Though, to be fair, I will remind you that my mother was famous for much similar reasons as mine.

**WeissInc**

So you’ve already overshadowed her, good, I hope to get there one day. I’ll try to act less starstruck. Coffee's on me one day, as an apology

**YangingInThere**

Whooo, you go Weissy, get some with your closet key

**PyrrhaEffingNikos**

Oh my!

**WeissInc**

I DIDN'T

I WASN'T

**NinjaNeko**

This says a lot about the kind of interactions we’ll have

**GottaGoFast**

Ooh, Oh, **@CocoChanel** i have a question?

**CocoChanel**

Yes?

**GottaGoFast**

Why did you select the eight of us for the chat test?

**CocoChanel**

The eight I added are those who will get the Valerian dorms

**WeissInc**

Valerian Dorms?

**CocoChanel**

They’re special dorms for celebrities, teacher kids and...special circumstances, as it seems

**WeissInc**

Well then, I’m guessing given Pyrrha is from Mistral and I know my family, all the others are teacher kids?

**CocoChanel**

No, only Yang (YangingInThere), Jaune (JeanLucPickArc), and Ruby (GottaGoFast)

**WeissInc**

What about the neko here?

**NinjaNeko**

I plead the fifth.

I plead all constitutions

**CocoChanel**

She’s Blake Belladonna, daughter of Ghira Belladonna

**NinjaNeko**

how dare

**WeissInc**

Well then

welcome to the “club of people recognized due to their parents”

would you like to attend the daily tea meeting

**NinjaNeko**

...you know what, sure, that sounds pretty good

**YangingInThere**

Damn, Weissy, first Nikos for coffee then Belladonna for tea? You really went down the gay slippery slope with style

**WeissInc**

I pray to every god of every pantheon that you’re not my direct roommate.

**NinjaNeko**

Wait, so what are the SlothKing and CastleQueen?

**CocoChanel**

The special circumstances

Also, Ruby is Weiss’s roommate

**WeissInc**

Oh, well, that sounds fine. You don’t wake up at 4 in the morning singing anime, do you?

**GottaGoFast**

No, just heavy metal

**WeissInc**

...

**GottaGoFast**

kidding!

**NinjaNeko**

i will need more information before i start to worry

**CocoChanel**

I guarantee the more information i give you the more you’ll worry

**NinjaNeko**

you are not doing a sugoi work as RA

**YangingInThere**

weeb

**CocoChanel**

Fine, but be warned Belladonna, you just opened Pandora’s box

**YangingInThere**

jar, actually

**PyrrhaEffingNikos**

actually it was a jar

**YangingInThere**

...

**PyrrhaEffingNikos**

...

**GottaGoFast**

Holy shit Yang i think pyrrha is your soulmate?

**WeissInc**

Yo u have got to be KIDDING

**YangingInThere**

I’m allowed to enjoy mythology!

**PyrrhaEffingNikos**

Do you want to go enjoy mythology together one day, Yang?

**YangingInThere**

I’ll definitely take you up on that!

**CocoChanel**

This is, word by word, the short email from SlothKing’s (Ren) and CastleQueen (Nora) old school, sent by the headmaster

Dear Professor Ozpin, we are very thankful for taking in Students Nora Valkyrie and Lie Ren.

In the interest of proper academy and from one educator to another, I will recommend the two for the biggest rooms on campus you can find, because anything smaller than big will be unable to contain Nora Valkyrie from tearing the place apart. And please keep Lie Ren as her roommate at all times and at all costs for only he is able to soothe the beast that is that lady.

Sincerely

Prof. Lionheart

**GottaGoFast**

...

**WeissInc**

...

**NinjaNeko**

...

**YangingInThere**

...

**PyrrhaEffingNikos**

...

**NinjaNeko**

I am afraid

**WeissInc**

Speaking of such, why are said terrifying roommates and this Jaune not chatting at all?

**CocoChanel**

If I heard right, the two Menaces™ are making their way to our college in a 100% natural trip, no maps or phone service

**YangingInThere**

I just asked Jaune

**WeissInc**

and?

**YangingInThere**

apparently he didn’t know he was entered to this college until right now

**WeissInc**

...isn’t he a teacher’s kid?

**YangingInThere**

Yes

**WeissInc**

and he didn’t know

**YangingInThere**

also yes

**JeanLucPickArc**

I cannot BELIEVE

tHE GALL OF THAT GAL

**YangingInThere**

Easy there Jauneyboy,

**WeissInc**

So you’re Jaune

**JeanLucPickArc**

So i’ve heard

and read in the inscription for the institution

i REALLY did not want that

**PyrrhaEffingNikos**

why?

**JeanLucPickArc**

First of all lady i don’t know who you are but if your middle name really is effing i am going to bake your parents a 12 layer cake and you can fite me on this

secondly i mean i don’t want to have gotten here in teacher momma credits

i wanna have gotten into a good school on my own wits

like a BADASS

**YangingInThere**

your only school credits were momma homeschooling you tho

**JeanLucPickArc**

what demon have i wronged to have you as a friend

**WeissInc**

Jaune are you aware you told Pyrrha Nikos, the lady who revolutionized combat sport, to “fite you” over baking?

**JeanLucPickArc**

i dont know who this lady is or what she did to combat sports but theres something more important to take into account

is she a baker awed at a good name

**WeissInc**

No?

**JeanLucPickArc**

then my victory is assured

**WeissInc**

Well I certainly have a bit more of a grasp on your personality

you’re a conceited fool

**PyrrhaEffingNikos**

I don’t know, I think it’s grand to try and get to be the best on your own merits.

**JeanLucPickArc**

THANK YOU

LOUDER FOR THOSE IN THE BACK

**YangingInThere**

Even if you DON’T know what you want to be the best at

**JeanLucPickArc**

why should that matter? why would not knowing my future stop me from giving it my 100% at what i have around me? the present is also important.

**WeissInc**

...I have mixed thoughts about your intelligence

**GottaGoFast**

Naw, Jaune’s not very smart...he is however very clever and wise. He has a low pool of knowledge to draw from, but he certainly makes the best of it with the best reasons.

**JeanLucPickArc**

i should put that on my recommendation letter, it sounds very nice

who am i rooming with btw?

**CocoChanel**

Pyrrha

**JeanLucPickArc**

aight aight cool cool

nice to meet you roomie

sorry one of the first things i told you was for you to fite me

im sure we can solve it over a nice game of, idk, not beating me up

**PyrrhaEffingNikos**

Honestly? It’s kind of refreshing someone doesn’t know who I am or challenges me to “fite them”

It’s kinda nice

**JeanLucPickArc**

:)

**SlothKing**

CIVILIZATION

err i mean

Hello, I am Lie Ren, nice to meet you

**GottaGoFast**

Don’t worry, I had a much more awkward entrance

**SlothKing**

What awkward entrance? I only happened to greet all of you by

**GottaGoFast**

Denial? Not in Egypt?

**JeanLucPickArc**

How the hecc did you make it from Anima to Vale?

**SlothKing**

BARELY

I mean

With great dedication

**CastleQueen**

owo WHATS THIS

REN WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE

**SlothKing**

These will be our next door and front door roommates.

**CastleQueen**

GREAT

quick question WHO LIKES PANCAKES

**YangingInThere**

i AM an PAN-cake

**GottaGoFast**

yaaaaaaang

**CastleQueen**

Was that a pun on you being pansexual?

I LIKE IT

I’M PAN-CAKE TOO

**YangingInThere**

YASSSS

**GottaGoFast**

NOOOOOO

**YangingInThere**

pansexual more like PUNsexual

i’m a PUNcake

**WeissInc**

this is pandemonium

**CastleQueen**

more like

PUNDEMONIUM

**YangingInThere**

**@SlothKing** are you dating this woman? can I?

**SlothKing**

The answer to the first is complicated, but you can date Nora of course

...if you survive that is

**GottaGoFast**

Seriously why is everyone so foreboding about her?

**SlothKing**

You will know in a week’s time

**PyrrhaEffingNikos**

Glad to meet you! I look forward to meeting my roommates

**CastleQueen**

REN REN IT’S PYRRHA NIKOS

I FOUND MY SEXUALITY OUT THANKS TO HER

**WeissInc**

Seriously!?

**PyrrhaEffingNikos**

OK, small poll, no judgement, but who else did i help in figuring out sexuality?

**GottaGoFast**

...

**YangingInThere**

...

**PyrrhaEffingNikos**

i lied i am slightly judging you all

**GottaGoFast**

In our defense, Yang and I were in the same room discovering that. We said “I think i like girls” at the same time. Jaune was there.

**JeanLucPickArc**

its true

it was kinda creepy

**WeissInc**

Why were you three on the same room?

**JeanLucPickArc**

Well, it was rubes and yang’s house, and my mother was talking to their parents

**PyrrhaEffingNikos**

Sounds like you three have been friends forever

**JeanLucPickArc**

perks of parents being lifelong friends

speaking of parents me mum wants me to go to sleep so gnight my dudes and dudettes nice to meet you and see you soon pyr

**PyrrhaEffingNikos**

Nice to meet you too Jaune, it’ll be a pleasure

I’m heading out to sleep as well, good night everyone!

**CocoChanel**

Seems this was a success, but i’ll keep it for the week between now and school starting. I’ll have to move all of you to an isolated channel for now to make some additions. You should all go to sleep, fix your schedule up

**WeissInc**

Good idea, I shall leave to sleep, nice to meet you all.

Also, I am officially going to make the club of “people who are famous for their parents and don’t want that”

Belladona, Arc, Nikos, you’re all in

**CocoChanel**

I’m Coco Adel

**WeissInc**

You’re in too.

Goodnight, we’ll meet soon for tea

**GottaGoFast**

Goodnight! Yang, time to sleep

**YangingInThere**

But i wanna talk to nora!

**SlothKing**

Actually, we shall go to sleep now.

**CastleQueen**

Aaww, REN!!!

**SlothKing**

Nora

**CastleQueen**

FIIIINE

TTYL FELLOW PANCAKE XOXO

**SlothKing**

Goodnight everyone

**YangingInThere**

Well, that’s a wrap for me too ig

gn coco

**CocoChanel**

OK, everyone’s asleep

first off, the important things

 **CocoChanel** added **BunnygirlsRock**

**BunnygirlsRock**

Coco!

**CocoChanel**

Velvet!

Now that we’re alone and everyone’s asleep, we can be super gay and work on the server’s quality  
guess which one we’ll do first ; )

**BunnygirlsRock**

You say that but you’re always the shy one when we do stuff

**NinjaNeko**

NOT EVERYONE’S ASLEEP

GOODNIGHT NOW

**BunnygirlsRock**

fuck


	2. DAY -6 PART 1: THE REAL WATERS ARE THE FRIENDS WE MADE ALONG THE WAY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And the kids being dumb come back for T-minus six days before classes. Now with 300% more lesbianity (so i'm les-biased, fite me)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter?? In my dumb queer chatfic??? it's more likely than you think  
> Because my current social service lacks wifi i did a lot of progress in offlined google docs fanfics  
> Including enough words to do the second chapter  
> also a question at the end notes

**WeissInc**

You know I never DID get the explanation for the gay gun

Also we did NOT need to know that from our first RA, though I will admit the gay is cute

**GottaGoFast**

well that’s one hell of a story

So yang tried to hit on a lady

**WeissInc**

I have a feeling a lot of stories I'll hear during the year are going to start like that

**GottaGoFast**

Shush, now, she tried to hit on a lady, but the lady jumped at her screaming homophobic slurs   
then yang got very very angry and DECKED HER with her prosthetic arm (which is made of HARDMETALIUM) and no one did a thing

and i wondered “hey look queer humans with robotic prosthetics are homophobia to homosexual defense converters”

and so i thought maybe i could find a way to convert emotions into energy and shoot it?

**WeissInc**

well

That sounds like a logical conclusion

Also, completely without meaning offense, but prosthetic arm?

**GottaGoFast**

Gang accident

Ran into a very angry white fang member

She still won the fight though

**WeissInc**

I am torn between dissing her for being so crude at me at first and gushing over her physical capabilities

**YangingInThere**

That’s called hatesex and if you want im always up for it ; )

**WeissInc**

The scales are tipping to the side of “fuck you but also i won’t fuck you”

**YangingInThere**

Suit yourself, I won’t refuse you if you decide to screw me though

**GottaGoFast**

Yaaaaaaang

**YangingInThere**

Oh fine you have roomie dibs

**GottaGoFast**

what

**WeissInc**

Huh, that does sound like a thing, even though I hadn’t heard of it before.

But you better buy me coffee first, Ruby

**GottaGoFast**

WE HAVEN’T EVEN MET

**YangingInThere**

Sent you a pic of Weissy

**GottaGoFast**

oh shit shes hot

**WeissInc**

Well

I’ll take that as a compliment

**YangingInThere**

You’re hot

**WeissInc**

And you’re Yang so I’ll take it as a perverted act.

**CocoChanel**

You’re all going to be a RIOT to hang with

**WeissInc**

Um, excuse me, but we’re going to college to study, not to do hanging out

**GottaGoFast**

Aw, come on weissy! This is the time to meet people with new experiences! lives you’ve never lived! stories you’ve never heard! cities and rules never spoken of!

Aren’t you even the slightest bit curious?

**WeissInc**

Curiosity killed the cat

**NinjaNeko**

satisfaction brought it back

**WeissInc**

How dare you alter the saying to your needs!?

**NinjaNeko**

Oh I’M not

I’m finishing it as it actually is

That’s the whole saying

**WeissInc**

...

what?

**NinjaNeko**

Look it up

**CocoChanel**

I stand by my statement, since clearly you’ve just made it stronger

And also I'm going to need everyone here to try out a few verbal games with the bot   
We outsourced the code to a coming student and she’s done some great work

And before you yell out at us, no, she’s asking for payment and we’re giving it

**GottaGoFast**

Wow, I’m surprised the school gave money to an RA to get a not-yet-student to program games into a bot

**CocoChanel**

Oh, we don’t pay her in money

**GottaGoFast**

If you say exposure i’m going to get yang to steal your girlfriend and your underwear

**YangingInThere**

I don’t think saying that to the ra is a smart move before classes but i can speak wonders of my confidence in doing the first one

not the second one what the hecc sis i’m a lover not a thief

**GottaGoFast**

oh, so when you said you’ve stolen people’s hearts, it was a lie? >:3

**YangingInThere**

...got me there

**CocoChanel**

Her payment is in, and I quote, “diverse drawings of human-approximate gynoid characters”

**GottaGoFast**

...

**YangingInThere**

...

**GottaGoFast**

i’mma befriend faster than you can say gay

**WeissInc**

i am, as the kids say, shooketh

Blake was absolutely right, the original saying promotes curiosity and enjoyment

what other lies have been woven into our familiar interactions

**NinjaNeko**

Well, on the topic of family, “Blood is thicker than water” complete is actually “Blood of the covenant is thicker than water of the womb.”

**WeissInc**

i  a m  e x t r a  _s h o o k e t h_

**NinjaNeko**

in two days i have gotten top blackmail material on you, and destroyed the way you view common saying molded by a jerkish society. These two days have been right after i broke up with the white fang, who hates the schnees and would benefit from both. I just   
how am i actually doing my job better when having quit than when i was at it

**WeissInc**

Well, first off, it’s not unusual. After all, many people find what they were looking for when they look for something else.

**NinjaNeko**

That’s true

**WeissInc**

Secondly, isn’t it risky to recall your criminal activities in a server with the RA who has contact with the school?

**NinjaNeko**

I included it in my school resume

**WeissInc**

w

why????

**NinjaNeko**

As a member of the white fang i had to do develop many skills that can be helpful, such as team management, production, logistics, and having the one brain cell in the whole group.

**WeissInc**

I mean, completely true logic, but still, illegal?? Doesn’t the school care???

**CocoChanel**

Well then you might be somewhat terrified to learn that the main teacher for business classes and courses is a thief

**WeissInc**

What?? Where’s the evidence for that???

**CocoChanel**

He has talked of his heists in class as examples, his teaching assistant is his henchwoman, he shares both class and crime in his instagram, he’s still occasionally thieving and heisting, and most importantly he’s ROMAN TORCHWICK

**WeissInc**

...

.....

W

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

HOW DOES

HOW WAS HE HIRED?? WHY ISN’T HE FIRED??? AND WHY DOES HE TEACH BUSINESS???

**CocoChanel**

His hiring works as his community service, he hasn’t been fired because his husband works closely with ozpin (and ozpin’s the only man who can figure out his plans), and he has a masters in business.

And it's actually a legitimate diploma

**GottaGoFast**

Mom was there at his graduation

He flipped off the street and kissed oobleck on stage

it was awesome

**NinjaNeko**

By the way late comment (i got too focused on teasing weiss) but @ **YangingInThere** sorry for the arm cutting fang member 

**YangingInThere**

honestly missing my arm loss because you were teasing a cute girl is always fair in my books

Also unless you're adam torus you have nothing to apologize for. You said it, you broke up with the fang

**NinjaNeko**

so

um

funny coincidence but

the reason i call it breaking up is because it was connected to breaking up with my bf

adam _taurus_

**YangingInThere**

...huh, that last name makes more sense 

was it a painful breakup at least? 

**NinjaNeko**

i slammed his dick with a literally tied up bundle of the fifty shades of grey books

sight-problem size letters

**YangingInThere**

HOLY SHIT PFFTHAHAHAHA

**CastleQueen**

I WAS SUMMONED BY THE INFLICTION OF PAIN TO FUCKBOYS

**YangingInThere**

yas _queen_ ;D

**NinjaNeko**

Oh no not puns

my dad already tortures me with those

**YangingInThere**

You realize that makes it likelier I'll be your roommate 

**NinjaNeko**

so maybe i love even dumb comedy books like that but real life doesn't work like those 

**CocoChanel**

nono, she's 100% right

**NinjaNeko**

books you have betrayed me in such a way

even the words i write in suffering are an ode to the death of our love

**CastleQueen**

are you done? i wanna gal pal with yang

**NinjaNeko**

yes from now on no more written words ever 

**GottaGoFast**

you'll have to talk to people

**NinjaNeko**

on second thought we can get through this for our love and also no talking to people

**CocoChanel**

Nora, if you wanna hit on yang you gotta do it in dms

**NinjaNeko**

i seem to remember someone not doing that last night 

**BunnygirlsRock**

In my defense, i thought we were for all practical reasons direct messaging, no one around

**CocoChanel**

Velvet bun!!! <3<3

**BunnygirlsRock**

Coco bean!! ^o^ <3

**CastleQueen**

Aww that's so gay i approve

I will marry you two!

**SlothKing**

She's not kidding she has ministerhood she can _absolutely_ _ do that _

**BunnygirlsRock**

Not yet but thanks 

**CocoChanel**

y-yet?!

**BunnygirlsRock**

;3c

**CocoChanel**

<3

**PyrrhaEffingNikos**

Hello again! 

Also, that is absolutely adorable

**CastleQueen**

Hey magnet queen! 

**PyrrhaEffingNikos**

Magnet queen? 

**CastleQueen**

Yeah, cause you sure attract pretty ladies wink wink 

**PyrrhaEffingNikos**

Oh, my!  Well...I would be very glad if that were the case 

**GottaGoFast**

one of us one of us ONE OF US

**SlothKing**

Nora, you do realize by saying that and she's a magnet, she'd have to be the opposite and be either a non-lady or non-pretty? 

**CastleQueen**

renny i love you but sh*sh the fuck up

**YangingInThere**

So the mythological fighter digs ladies? aight that gives me some confidence!

**WeissInc**

Maybe, but a coffee date is more effective and traditional than a myth talking date

n-not that it has to be a date or anything

**GottaGoFast**

_gasp_ tsundere! 

**NinjaNeko**

tsundere much? 

**GottaGoFast**

ah i see you're a woman of culture as well

**YangingInThere**

great that's my former roommate and coming roommate

**PyrrhaEffingNikos**

Sorry! but I'm not sure if i want to do dating with anyone yet

I've yet to even have friends, I'd want that before girlfriends or boyfriends

**YangingInThere**

I don't know how you haven't had friends so far but doesn't matter i'mma befriend you 

I can't tell you i will never want to date you but now that's up to you

You have the power...of _consent_

A great power and responsibility 

**WeissInc**

I may have misjudged you Yang, you are absolutely right

I stand by my words, it depends on you whether it’s a date or not

**CastleQueen**

It’s alright, I just think you’re pretty. Date or not date being your friend will be amazing

**PyrrhaEffingNikos**

I’m feeling so loved!

**YangingInThere**

Hi feeling so loved I’m Yang

**PyrrhaEffingNikos**

even the puns can’t stop my joy

**YangingInThere**

they’re suposed to ENHANCE it

**PyrrhaEffingNikos**

i’m sorry for their loss

**GottaGoFast**

HAH

BURNED

You’ve earned my friendship

**CocoChanel**

As entertaining as this all is, it is time for you all to test... _the bot games_

**YangingInThere**

The butt gay-mess

**CocoChanel**

No

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to suggest the gayest or most common or weird discord bot games. Oh, and if any here know how to do fake discrod messaging in a non-html editing way, hmu and let me know!


End file.
